Firstly, Mom I love you. No matter how the argument goes, you'll always be my mother. Whether or not you support my choices that I've made in the past at least for a while we both made an effort to try. You made me feel like there was someone beside me through the decisions I was making and I will appreciate that forever. Secondly, I know it's difficult to understand why I made the choice to run away and make my life three times harder to live than if I had just stayed at home, graduated, gotten my liscense, and gone to college like alot of people my age. Perhaps someday you will see through that difficulty and realize that it wasn't to hurt anyone. And understand that it was not to just provide myself with a life and decisions of my own, but to no longer burden any of yours. I realize trying to raise a troublesome child like myself was not easy. I wanted my freedom more than anything, I wanted to do as I pleased and I can't take back that I was a bitch most of the time before I finally left. And I am horribly sorry for the child I was towards all of you. But look at what that girl has become now. Be optimistic that maybe... this life I've accomplished and discovered is a positive one, even if it wasn't what you had in mind.. I may be young and already have a child, but since I have had the responibility of being a mother, I have grown up more than most of the people my age without children. Yes I know, I've never done this all on my own because thank goodness I was never as worse as a beggar standing on an intersection. I managed to establish friends and people who had the ability to make me think and feel like they generally cared for me and offered help, even if they weren't being real. And yes, the state provided me with finances, food stamps, and medical when I could not find a reliable job within this society, because I was among all the other people who are struggling to stay afloat. As you know, Brittney and I, not only have jobs now. We have an apartment that proves we work hard enough every month just to have a roof over not just our heads but Amyrillis' as well. We go to work everyday, we trade shifts caring for Amyrillis and caring for 50+ residents at our work. I am a responsible mother, I am a responsible employee, I'm even a responsible apartment owner, and I am finally exactly where I was aiming to be. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of who I have become after all these years of struggling and hardships. This is who I am, I have my faults but I am one hell of a good woman. Lastly, again I love you mom. I love you all. I always have and always will. We'll have our ups and downs about the decisions I've made till the day I die. There's nothing I can do to fix the past now. And like I said the last time we spoke in our heated argument over the phone, if you should decide to pick up the phone and call me, unless I'm working- I will answer or call you back. But I currently intend on giving you space. Understand this is only my opinion on this matter. I am my mothers daughter, but there is no reason a stubborn mother and daughter should have to continue the silence just because our feelings are hurt. I have a humch that I'm just like my mother and I know that when someone hurts my feelings or makes me feel bad about myself I become protective towards myself and hurtful towards the other person, (though valid points were made in the argument) I'm thinking that maybe you do the same thing too. Someday, I hope you'll come across this. Eventhough I can't change the past, I can't change the argument we had, and I can't take anything back, every day we learn these lessons and begin to see the values in everything because of it. Such as time, understanding in others and actions, respect, love, companionship, honesty and truth, faith, ways to cope, time, and most importantly... family.
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 Dedication to Ashley Through thick and thin is how we've been, through every up and down. I was thinking you deserve a poem too, since are friendship withstands strength we've made it around. Ash, you are amazing! Truly one of a kind, if anyone could understand me it's you since the first day Josh put you at my side. I just want you to know after everything, all we've gone through together. I'm honored that Amyrillis will always know her family, and see us all succeed together. Though I was unsure when times seemed so hard, it's outstanding I can step aside and watch you be a wonderful mother. You fight just as hard as I used to to try and keep your faith. And no matter what happens to you, I will support all that you choose. Not just because you'd do the same for me but because of what all our hardships gained. Even when we weren't at our best, in an instant we were back to back working out all life's tests. - Nora Forrest |
 Dedication to Trisha If you ever read this I want you to know how much I really valued our friendship. You were there for me so many times through those sleepless nights I had with Amy. I remember waking up to a spotless kitchen when I was exhausted. Food that you brought when there was barely anything. I did value you, more than you'll ever know because of many people in my life I knew that you were my friend. Now I know there are mistakes from the past that I can never take back, but through it all the reasons I wish I could make up for those mistakes were because I ruined a great friendship with you. I hope that maybe someday you and I will be close friends again, because unlike the past I'll show you just how special you were and are to me; to this very day. -Nora |
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